In keeping with my own tradition the past couple of years, I thought I’d sit here in my pjs and slippers (that I waited to put back on until 3:30 this afternoon) on this last Sunday of “Christmas Break” and share:
14 Things I’ve Learned during the Christmas season of 2014.
14. If your Kindergartener puts homemade “reindeer food” on the front porch on Christmas Eve, she in turn expects that on Christmas morning this special recipe of marshmallows, pretzels, carrots, M & M’s, and chocolate chips will be gone/eaten. If you happen to forget to remove the said “reindeer food” while the said Kindergartner is sleeping, then you must stall your three children at the top of the steps and go “check” to make sure that it’s “safe” to go outside to the front porch. You then must shove very soggy marshmallows, pretzels, carrots, what used to be M & M’s, and waxy chocolate into your pockets.
13. Wet marshmallows are sticky.
12. Barbie MEGAblocks are not MEGA. According to the dictionary, “MEGA” means, “very large” or “huge.” If by huge they mean “half the size of your preschooler’s fingernail,” then MEGAblocks is an appropriate name for the Barbie MEGAblocks sets.
11. If the box containing the unassembled Barbie MEGAblocks swimming pool claims that the pool can be built by a 4-8 year-old, then these children must be in the MENSA program and/or are already construction engineers.
10. I am not a construction engineer.
9. My 4-year-old is not in MENSA.
8. If your sister-in-law has a December birthday you celebrate at Christmas and she mentions that she’d always wanted a “Doll Dress” cake when she was a girl, you give the woman a Doll Dress cake by sticking a Barbie in the Baked Alaska cake your mother-in-law made. You’re never too old for a Barbie cake. (Aluminum foil may be required to keep the cake G Rated.)
7. It’s best to be slow to speak and quick to listen as your child questions you on the validity of Santa Claus. The standard, “Well, what do you think?” reply works well.
6. The standard, “Well, what do you think?” reply does NOT work well with your husband when he is asking you what size of clothing he should purchase for you for Christmas.
5. It’s very easy to find something fun to buy for ten-year-old boys.
4. It’s very difficult to find something fun to buy for forty-year-old boys.
3. When your little one says she knows the Santa at the mall is just someone dressed up, just be quiet for a couple of beats because she may just follow that statement up with, “Because I know the REAL Santa is still in the North Pole.”
2. Three kids and seven hours of baking makes for A LOT of goodies and a very sore lower back. (And, you can get ALMOST anything to stick to a pretzel rod you’ve dipped in melted chocolate.)
1. The Christmas season can be full of anticipation and joy. The best gift of all is anticipating the joy that can be ours because of that perfect baby, Jesus, who we celebrate all year long!
Here’s to a great 2015!